wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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