It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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