Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
