walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
