Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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