Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
