The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
