Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
A bitchslap is in order.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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