Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
