I looked at my own cervix.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Two words: blizzard sex
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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