Whod you bang
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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