And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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