At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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