Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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