where am i from again
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
