David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
