there was a trapeze. enough said
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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