I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
