He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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