"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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