that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
