??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
