I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
