I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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