I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
