Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
