if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
