I feel great
I just peed on a car
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
