Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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