Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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