Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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