My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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