its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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