So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
