we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
