Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
