Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
