I want to make a zoo with you.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
