I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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