Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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