32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
