Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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