i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
