He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
