I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
