god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
