we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
