Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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