He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
