i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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