When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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