Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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