Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
