Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is Oprah even human
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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