Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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