you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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