its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
