I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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