I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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