Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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