Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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