Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
