My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
