lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Drunk is a universal language darling
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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